Tallywhacker Placement Selection Report

Classified

Form LB-TPS-05 Rev. C

TPS-2026-00001

Interoffice Memorandum · Mandatory Cover Sheet

Tallywhacker Placement
Selection Report

TPS Report · Penile Containment Solutions Division · Field Operations

Document routing

Prepared by

Patch · LeakedBriefs Field Operations

Reviewed by

Shield · Cycling Division

Submitted to

B. Lumbergh, Senior VP of Pants

Date of submission

Whenever I get around to it

Department

Containment R&D

Priority

Extremely

Sensitivity

Self-evident

Report subject

Primary subject matter

Optimal anterior resting position of the male anatomical unit within a shaped incontinence pad for maximum containment efficacy

Secondary subject matter

Why nobody told you this before

Classification

Anatomical

Clinical

Fun at parties

Necessary

Prior art

Porky's (1982) · Miss Balbricker · Case ref: peephole incident

Interoffice memorandum

To: All staff, Penile Containment Solutions Division

From: B. Lumbergh, Senior VP of Pants

Re: New cover sheets for TPS reports. And also this one.

Yeah, hi. I am going to need you to go ahead and read this report. We have gone ahead and updated the TPS cover sheets, so if you could just go ahead and make sure you use the new ones from now on, that would be great. Also, if you could go ahead and come in on Saturday, that would be great. We need to discuss tallywhacker placement. We have got a meeting. Mmmyeah.

Authorisation

Patch

Field Tester, Desk and Commute Division

Shield

Field Tester, Cycling Division

B. Lumbergh

Senior VP of Pants, Initech Inc.

NOTE: This cover sheet is mandatory. No TPS report will be processed without it. If you are reading this without the cover sheet, you did not get the memo. There was a memo. · No distinctive moles were identified in the production of this document. · LeakedBriefs is not affiliated with Initech.